Kill the Clock

putting on the pressure
to treasure my remaining youth
there’s so much i could catch
if i could start facing you
and nothing lasts forever
but i refuse to face the truth
there’s nothing i can catch
if i don’t start facing you

but then i work into a frenzy, another one of many
and ignore the calling that is calling me to heed
this is for the thinker, the one who always lingers
listen to the calling that is calling you to heed

watch as i kill the clock

i’ve been resting on my laurel — yeah, not even plural
sour grapes; bitten off more than i can gnaw on
but i’m not gonna stop ‘til i stop walling off
calling all self-saboteurs for
all in all, a group meeting to call us off
all i want’s a new feeling to call upon
to top it off my ego’s drifted
towards imposterism, i feel i’ve grifted
anybody who said “he’s so gifted!” apologies…
i’ll never live a hero myth, kids
i mean, how can i return with elixirs
if i could never leave home to begin with? dimwit
stuck in his mischief, this love is so twisted
hustled to live in it yet i covet the distance
and i don’t want to suffer the critics
it’s none of their business dream of holding the
golden trophies feeling hopeful but
won’t overcome this achievemephobia
deep in neurosis just sleeping in comas stuck
sneaking a peak but leaving when the going’s tough
old enough to know it’s dumb
all the charm in the ‘woe is me‘ self-loathing’s wrung
my delusion is losing strength
and i knew that i threw the game

but then i work into a frenzy
another one of many
can’t ignore the calling that is calling me to heed
this is for the thinker, the one who always lingers
don’t ignore the calling that is calling you to heed

watch as i kill the clock
’cause if i never take the leap, i’ll never fall
so even if the shot is within reach, i hold the ball
i just sit beside myself and
watch as i kill the clock

destiny is stalking but i’m standing inside
the shadows where i hide away…
and still i am crawling, still a baby inside
afraid and disguised, i’m ashamed…
destiny is knocking but i’m standing inside
the shadows where i hide away
and still i am crawling, still a baby inside
so is it too late to try?

if i never play, i can never lose — if i never fight, i won’t ever bruise
if i guard my heart, it won’t ever bleed — if i blind my eyes, i won’t have to see
if i shield my ears, i won’t have to hear — if i numb my mind, i won’t feel the fear
if i never live, i can never die
if i never live… I can never…
die.